Be happy.

Isn't it amazing how sincere and genuine a child's smile is?

All it takes is a silly little sound,

a swing and a push,

...& one tiny oreo.

holy bananas.

Sometimes life is really hard.

My 8-month old is NOT sleeping at night.  He is regressing.  The number of times he is waking up each night is increasing.  This is not how it's supposed to go.

Therefore, I am regressing.  The number of times I am waking up each night is increasing.  Not exactly my favorite time of day to be awake.

I recently realized I have been having some emotional moments in which the reasons for reach beyond the scope of exhaustion.  What I'm saying is, I think I need more than a good nights sleep to snap me out of this funk.  I need to step back, look around, and reevaluate my days.  I need a little more organization and structure and a little less diaper changing.

My father-in-law recently told me "Believe it or not, you'll look back on this time as the 'good ol' days'".  I know he's right.  There will come a time when Emma is 14 and the dress she is trying to wear is too short.  I'll look back on this picture when she was FOUR and dressed herself in not one, but two dresses, two leg warmers, two Hello Kitty socks, and two Minnie Mouse jellie shoes. 

The good ol' days.

Yesterday I had a list a mile long with what I wanted to get done.  Pick up the playroom, make the kids beds (why, I don't know), vacumm up the obscene amount of dog fur, make my own bed (more on this later), and mop the kitchen.  Nothing on this list is that outlandish.  Nothing on this list seems that difficult.  But let me tell you- I got ONE thing done.  The dog fur.

But you know what I DID do?  I threw dinner in the crockpot.  I played outside.  With the kids.  For a looong time.  It was a perfect fall day with the sun shining and green grass swaying.

Little guy loved it.

Yesterday was a step in the right direction.  I chose play time over cleaning time.  And while it stressed me out to come back in to a kitchen that wasn't mopped, my happiness trumped the stress.  I'm not saying I'm going to let my house sit dirty, but I am saying I'm going to make a bigger effort to choose sunny days over flourescent kitchen lights.

I have read a few posts lately that have make me realize I am not alone in this world of mothering little ones.  We are not alone.  We have each other.  And most of all, we have little munchkins that bring us more happiness than should be allowed.  (Even if it is sandwiched between poopy diapers and telling them to stop jumping on the bed for the 385th time).

Absorb today.  Take it in.  These really are the good ol' days.



Why didn't I think of that?

For the most part, I think Pinterest is pretty awesome.  I use it for recipes mostly because that's where my passion lies.  I have made at least half of the recipes I've pinned, and that's no lie.  Some have been absolute doozies, while others have made it into weekly rotations.  But every now and then, I come across a pin and think "Why the heck didn't I think of that?".

Such as - 

Fruit in ball jars!  Easy, ready, and transportable!

We recently had a day of painting and the kids LOVED it.

I'm pretty sure I'll never get Dean to smile like this in a picture ever again.

Geez, they sure do look alike here.

I'm pretty sure Calvin might just skip the whole baby food step and go straight to real food.

He just won't eat baby food, but he'll eat tiny pieces of anything you give him.

Oh, and puffs. 

 Let's just say he's still learning.

Okay, I got Dean to smile again.  But he didn't know I was there.

This is just pure, simple fun with a popcorn box.

This picture makes my heart happy.

Oh, and he's OBSESSED with those rainboots.

He wears them every.single.day - rain or shine.

This was on a beautiful Sunday morning.  The weather was cool.  Sun was shining.

And Long's Donuts was straight ahead.

Calvin should be crawling any minute now, and when he does, I'm doomed.

Right now he scoots/slides his belly along the floor.  I'm tempted to make him a duster-onesie so my sweeping gets done while he plays.

Just kidding.

I think.

Tri hard.

David and Uncle Andy (his twin) did the TriIndy this past weekend.  The weather cooperated, the sun stayed in the clouds for the morning, and they both PR'd.  I think one of David's favorite things is to let the kids wear his medals he gets from competing.  Although, if you were to ask me, the wives trying to keep track/feed/carry all of five kids while the daddies compete should get a medal too. 

Yes, I'm serious.

Uncle Andy & Daddy's jeeps parked next to each other.

Show your muscles!

I don't have a picture of my award.  Let's just say it's probably in the form of a massage gift certificate.  Ahem.

Yo, I'll solve it.

You know how every one always makes New Year's Resolutions?  And you know how most people don't last the whole year month?  You know how it's probably because they set too many or too difficult of goals to be completed all at once?  Well, I'm going to solve that.  At least, I'm going to try.

Introducing my brilliant Monthly Resolutions idea.

Every month, I will choose ONE single goal to accomplish.  I will start it at the beginning of the month in hopes that I will have made a habit of it 28 days later.  (Isn't that what the rule is?  28 days?)  As I enter a new month, I will set a new goal.  So I will then be implementing TWO goals.  And so on. And so forth.  Until this whole dang house is clean.

I get very easily overwhelmed with goals I set for myself.  It usually stems from too much caffiene paired with a very messy house.  Tell me I'm not alone here?  Right?  ...  Hello?

So, without further delay, here is my M|R for August:

WASH & DRY & FOLD & PUT AWAY ALL LAUNDRY - EVERY DAY.

I would choose laundry service over cleaning service is what I'm saying.  But they would have to come into my house and actually put away the clothes too.  A girl can dream right?

I always get ambitious and wash a bajillion loads of laundry, but I always find an excuse to not fold it.  And then it stresses me out.  A very fixable problem is present, and I'm going to mend it.

Blogging is an excuse not to fold clothes, right?

Also,

Since yesterday's post was void of any pictures, I thought I would share some today.

I also think I might be one of those people who uses waaay, too, many, commas.

Pretty girl.

Saving money with a diy haircut.

I taught her everything she knows.

One of my favorite pictures of all time.

She went on a run with Daddy.  She loved it, but he loved it more.

Dean not wasting any chocolate ice cream.

Our first movie night!  We watched Princess & the Frog, had homemade red beans and rice, popcorn, and gummy bears!  Emma loved it.  Dean talked the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME.

Dean's favorite part of the fair.  He was obsessed.

Calvin @ 5 months.

Fast asleep.

He's warmed up to baby food since.

Sitting on the front porch while it rained for 3 whole minutes.  Is she proud of him or what?

I kind of love this picture.  He's my baby baby.

Growing up.  Cal @ 6+ months.

They're, the, greatest.

a journal.

So, hey.

It's been a while.

I had practically given up on writing this blog.  I have been pretty busy, you know, with THREE kids.  But after much consideration, I have decided to write again.  I was looking at it all wrong.  I was equating writing this blog to "another thing to do", and that's not what I ever wanted this to be.  I was letting myself get stressed out about it...and that's just no fun.  But, I recently read through some of my old posts and realized how happy I was that I had written them.  So, here goes.  Try number five, I think.

Let's list the updates since I last wrote (which was November, by the way):

-I had a baby.
-Now I have three kids.
-So, there's this baby in the house now.
-Another kid happened.
-THREE.  KIDS.
-I went grocery shopping.

That should sum it up.

But really, it's been pretty great.  Calvin is a perfect mix of the older two muchkins.  His sleeping habits are not Emma's, but definitely not Dean's.  He is almost 7 months (!!) old and is not yet sleeping through the night.  But I'm more okay with it than I ever was with Dean.  I guess it's that whole "but he's the baby" logic that will get me in trouble in the future.  I'm pretty sure if I thought about him going off to kindergarten, I could cry right now.  Sniff.

This is Emma's last year home with me before she's off to kindergarten next year.  Now that - THAT - is crazy.  We have lots of plans.  Lots and lots of plans.  It's my goal to make it a year at home she won't ever forget.  Sniff.

Dean is a talking machine.  He loves to say "How 'bout dat?  How 'bout dis?" or "I too! I too!".  He's most talkative when he's tired.  The longer he stays up, the more he chats with you.  He doesn't go to bed until about 9, which goes against everything I ever believed in when it came to kids and bedtimes.  But we were battling bedtime with him for at least an hour every.single.night and it became too stressful for the both of us.  So 9:00 it is.  Sniff.

David and I celebrated our 6-year-wedding and our 10-years-of-being-together anniversaries.  Good guy, that husband of mine.

Sniff.

Boo.

If everything goes as it has with my last two children, I should have this baby in about 8 weeks.  Yeh, I know.  Scary, right?

And here is the exact opposite of scary:

My cute little bunny.  :)

I'm starting to get really excited about something kind of silly.  I've never been able to buy some things I've wanted because I've never really known how big our family was going to be.  Well, now I know.

I'm talking about things like plate sets and jewelry with birthstones.  One thing I will be able to do next year is get our family's matching stockings.  I've already found the kind I want.



via

Purrty, right?  I can just imagine these on my fireplace.

Now, time to go shop for some birthstone rings.

okay, okay.

An exciting development has taken place.  My bff (yeh, I'm 28 and still using it) Lindahl figured out how to erase all 1,571 (not joking) from my memory card all at once.  I simply did not think it was possible, and she figured it out in point.two seconds.  So, instead of my stalling on my picture taking due to lag time of downloading, I will now be able to take/update/print pictures at a much better pace.

Hence, this (non-edited) picture-loaded post:

 The cutest boy there ever was.

Emma & her Aunt Kelly the day before the wedding.

Bubbies proving why I can't stay mad at him.

Ugh.  26 weeks with Baby #3.

This is a horrible picture.

And this is my little helper for today.

We made homemade applesauce in the crockpot.

Yeh, it's gonna be awesome.





Emotional v. Physical

Having a baby is a stressful event.

Of course, this is my third baby and I'm sure I know what to do by now.   Right?

With Emma, I was physically ready to have a baby.  We registered and had the showers.  We had every baby item we thought we needed.  We had a huge house so there was no question where she would sleep.  We both worked full-time so money was not a concern.  I would say we were more ready physically than we were emotionally.  Emma was a surprise baby (you think I'd have learned by now), and so it took some time to get ready for her arrival in an emotional sense.  I remember it didn't even really HIT me until the day we took her home.  I cried for the first hour we had her home because I realized that this sweet little baby girl was ours, and she was here to stay.

As far as Dean goes, he was planned.  I was ready for another baby.  But I was also ready to sell my house.  So we moved out of our house when I was about 5 weeks pregnant and feeling sick as a dog.  We moved in with my in-laws and stayed there until Dean was born.  The main reason we found out his gender was so I could feel prepared for something, anything.  I didn't know where I was going to live.  I didn't know how money would be since I was only going back part-time.  I didn't know if he would have his own room.  I just wanted to know.  So, I felt prepared for Dean emotionally because I was so ready to be a mom again.  I wanted a newborn.  I was ready for sleepless nights. (Although, had I known he would be the kind of sleeper he is, I might have changed my mind.)  I was ready for bottles and newborn-sized onsies.

Or so I thought.

What I wasn't ready for was the full-on-mom-mode I would have to be in 100% of the time.  Even though I thought I was ready for this second kid, there was nothing out there that could have prepared me for the stress that is two kids.  But, that's gotten better.  I was just getting the hang of it when along came the positive pregnancy test and all my energy went down the drain.

I am ready for this baby.  Emotionally, that is.  I feel like I've learned so much about myself in the last 16 months that Dean has been here.  I am absolutely prepared for the world of mutliple children.  I understand it will be insane and I can't do everything.  I am fairly educated on breastfeeding and have a strong desire to do whatever it takes to make it work.  I already know what the money will be like, and it will be hard.  But, given the choice to make more money away from home, or stay home with my babies while I can -well, the choice for me is easy.  I know what the hospital stay will be like.  I understand this baby will probably be jaundiced like my other two.  I am prepared for the multiple trips to the hospital for bloodwork.  I am emotionally ready to connect to this little baby - my last - my true baby.

As far as being physically ready goes....


...well, do you have a room we could borrow?

I have 100% of my energy...70% of the time.

When I have an energy spurt, I feel like I can complete every single task on my to-do list (which seems to grow by the minute).  But, when that spurt is gone...I'm done.  Count me out.  Finished.  No way I'm getting back up.  My eyelids get heavy, my feet and ankles swell a tiny bit, and by belly feels like it weighs 498 lbs.

So, I've been taking advantage of the energy I can find sometimes, and I've been researching recipes and actually making them.  There are many times that I find a recipe and neglect to try it, forget about it, or just plain give up on.  But lately I've been realizing if I find a recipe I have all the ingredients for on-hand, then I just get up and make it.  This morning, I've already made some "No-Bake Energy Bites" and it's only 10:13 am.  The thing is though, these things are the easiest things in the world to make.  Seriously.  And, by tweaking a few of the ingredients, you can make them pretty healthy.  You know, since your kids, you might lick the spoon around 23 times just to make sure they taste okay.

via

Make them now, thank me later.  You know why you'll thank me later?  Because you can double the recipe, throw the extras in the freezer, and you have snacks that will last you a month or two.  Believe me.  When you're searching through your pantry for something to snack on, you'll be so grateful when you realize you have ready-make, healthy snacks awaiting in the freezer.  You're welcome...later.

The rest of my energy is being put towards finding a bigger car.  Yep.  I just bought a car when Dean was born.  I've only had it a year.  I LOVE it.  But I need more room thanks to the Surprise Smith growing in belly.  :)  So, I think the old car is getting cleaned up and might be accessorized with a brand new "FOR SALE" sign in her front window.  She'd look good with that, wouldn't she?  And to answer your question, no.  I'm not getting a minivan.  Thanks.  I'm thinking something more like this:

Purrty, right?

We'll see how it goes.

Hey.  Go make those balls.  You'll love 'em.

Doubt.

source

I found this quote the other day and it hit me good.

I have some major goals running through my head lately.  And I'm way ahead of myself.  Like always.

Halloween.  Thanksgiving.  And Christmas.  I have always loved the holidays.  The love has only grown since having my own children to share it with.  Introduce new traditions.  Make lists for Santa.  And bake.  Oh, the baking.  I can almost taste it.

Goal #1.  Tackling the Holidays.  The reason I am so gung-ho about Christmas this year is because I should be having a baby right around that time too.  The very last thing I want to worry about 4 days before the holiday is what gift I'm going to get for who and where the hell I am going to park in this &*%# parking lot?  I actually get a little stressed just typing it out.  Therefore, my goal is to have ALL Christmas shopping D.O.N.E. before Halloween comes.  I've already started.  Emma may already have some gifts from Santa waiting for her in my dresser drawer.  That way I can concentrate on getting ready for the new baby, nesting, enjoying my kiddos, and eating.  Yes, I said eating.  I'm trying to see how much weight I can gain by having my last trimester fully encompass the holiday eating season.  Of course, I'm kidding.  Kind of.

Goal #2.  Stocking my freezer.  This has been an ongoing goal of mine ever since I realized the amount of food out there that can be premade and frozen.  Breads, cookies, pancakes, burritos, lasagna, milk, fruits from the farmer's markets, baby food, etc.  I plan to have my freezer so full of food it can barely open.  The last thing I am going to feel like doing is cooking when I have THREE (omg.) kids who need me to be here, there, and everywhere.  Moneysavingmom.com is great blog out there for any parent who is interested in saving money and finding great recipes to freeze.  I'm also always a fan of Allrecipes.com.  Although, my biggest win so far has been Pinterest.  It blows my mind.  It inspires me.  It puts all of my ideas that I steal off of other people (ie. repin) into one big folder for me to easily find at any time.  I've made 3 recipes in 2 days off of this site.

Goal #3.  Finish some to-do-ing around this ol' house.  Why yes, that does include finding a place for the new baby to sleep!   We've got options, but we've yet to confirm anything.  Did you know I'm 5 1/2 months today?  Time flies when you're having fun totally freakin' exhausted and can't keep up with anything.  We also have some little things that I just want to have done before the weather keeps us in and I have to look at unfinished projects all day long.

Goal #4.  Try my brand new cloth diapers on Dean in preparation for Smith #5.  I gots 'em.  Them fancy ones. 

via

I got a heckuva deal on them, so I went for it.  I bought enough gender-neutral colors to hopefully use on Dean & the new baby at the same time.  Yes, there was a big upfront cost, but the cost from here on out is $0.00.

Goal $5.  Learn everything there is know about breastfeeding.  If I pair this with not spending any money on diapers, and making my own baby food...this new baby should cost pennies compared to the other two muchkins.  That's the goal anyways.

So, there's a sneak peek inside my ever-insane brain.  Hopefully, I'm not the only one who thinks all-kinds-of-crazy like this, but it sure does help to write it all down.  Even if I am the only one who reads it.  :)

Crash & burn.

My computer crashed.  My hard drive crapped out.  And now I have a new one.

In other news:

We had our ultrasound this last Wednesday and it was pretty awesome.  Even though it's number three, and that whole holy-crap-I'm-going-to-be-a-mom feeling has worn off long ago, the ultrasound is a pretty amazing thing.

Yes, I've already seen two little ones flopping around in my belly before.  The first, we decided to not find out the gender.  And the second, we saw we were having a boy.  This time around we are happily settled on being surprised again.  I've done it both ways, and I will surely tell you that waiting until delivery day is one of the best surprises you can give yourself.

(Note: We do have the picture from the ultrasound with the gender sealed tightly in an envelope.  I believe it to be a boy because of how fast she determined the sex.  She looked for about .2 seconds and said she was done.  Therefore, I think she saw boy parts because they would have been easy to find.)

(Another note:  No.  I am not at all interested in peeking into the envelope.  The surprise is too good to cheat and look now.)

Currently, I am 20 weeks along and feeling pretty good.  I truly can't believe that I've made it to five months.  When I was so sick with morning sickness in the beginning, I thought my pregnancy might last 2 years because of how slow time went.  I'm not sure if I've said this before, but morning sickness feels like your worst hangover that never ends.  Your muscles ache.  The thought of most foods makes you want to yak.  And you just want to lay down, close your eyes, and pray you don't have to find a toilet in the next 5 minutes.  The only thing is, when you do get sick, it doesn't feel any better.  You feel just the same.  Ech.

This pregnancy is just as easy as my others have been, but with the added bonus of already having two little munches I have to take care off.  Although, working part-time has helped with that stress.  And, I already kind of knew what to expect because of having Emma when I was pregnant with Dean.  Although Dean is a whole different kind of kid.  He's getting to be so fun, but he finds everything he shouldn't, and makes a quick mess.  He's pretty great.

On another note, my oldest is growing up before my eyes.  I'll be taking her to college before I know it.  She had her first dentist appointment yesterday.  She was so good, and listened very intently to what the dentist had to say.  She left with a picture, a Disney toothbrush, a treasure chest toy, and a strong desire to brush her teeth!

As for me, I'm off to clean.  yay.

how far? really?

In my first trimester, had you come up to me and asked me how far along I was, I could pretty much tell you to the minute.  I was so sick and exhausted that I was literally counting.down.the.days until it would hopefully be over.  The sickness actually faded around 11 weeks, and the exhaustion about a week ago.

And when I stopped to calculate how far along I really am, I realized I didn't know.  I had to look it up.  I guess that's what happens when it's baby #3.  After I discovered that I am, in fact, 16 weeks & 5 days, I got a little nervous.  I'm going to have a (another) baby and he/she is going to be here before I know it!  My brother gets married in September, and then we'll have Halloween and football to keep us busy.  Thanksgiving will be right around the corner, and then Christmas!  And I'm due right after Christmas!  Like, the I'll-be-lucky-if-I-don't-go-into-labor-on-the-25th-of-December kind of due.  See, now you're nervous too.

On a less nervous note, it's been am-aze-balls to have my energy back.  I went to the library and went straight to the cookbooks and not the baby names books. (P.S. I hate the baby names books.  They have only worsened the situation by giving me millions of stupid names to choose from, and making me feel more nervous than ever that I will never find one because if I can't find a name in a book filled with 35,000 of them, something must be wrong.)  And....breathe.  Back to recipes.  Wonderful, amazing, recipes.  Have I told you I LOVE to cook?  In the last week I've made breakfast burritos (that I froze, and can be reheated whenever you choose), grapefruit popsicles (where we squeezed 6 giant grapefruits to get the juice we needed), brown sugar twists, taco pizza, and homemade salsa with tomatoes from the garden.  It feels good I tell you.  Good for my soul.

But.  After this is all done.  I can't.  Let myself.  Sit down.  Because I'll never stand back up.

All of my exhaustion that I should have been feeling all day catches up to me in one fell swoop and I crash.

Which is fine.

Because I still feel good.  And I'm glad I feel like cooking again. 

Now, what's for dinner?

feeling it.

I've been really feeling fall lately.

It's been unseasonably hot here in good ol' Indiana.  We have record low amounts of rain for the month of July.  We mowed our grass ONCE this month.  We have been staying in instead of going to the pool.  The thought of packing up everything we need and trekking to and from the heat-stroke heated car sounds exhausting - and hot.

So lately I've been thinking about all the fun fall things I look forward to every year.  It's especially fun because Emma is at an age where she really understands carving the pumpkins, costumes, and santa & the elves making toys.

It's not to say I can't wait for fall to get here, I just won't be disappointed when it arrives.  I'll be getting bigger and bigger which means I can wear stretchy pants and football jerseys on the weekends.  (Nice visual, eh?)  And even though I can't drink any beer, I sure can eat another bowl of chili wtih extra cheese because I'm eating for two.  (Yes, I'm going to use that as much as I can, as this should be my last pregnancy and I'll never be able to eat like this again.)

Emma's already excited about looking at halloween costumes.  I think she wants to be a princess.  Doesn't every girl try that out for at least one costume growing up?  She likes the one that costs $45.  I am going to to my best to make one for $5.

And right around the corner, before the fall weather hits, is my brother's wedding.  It's the first weekend in September and plans are coming right along.  Emma is a flower girl and is very excited.  My project this week is to scour Etsy and find the perfect hair accessory for her outfit.  I want her to feel like the prettiest girl in the world that day.  This might be a memory she has forever and I want it to be a good one.  The whole weekend should be a blast.  We're staying in our first hotel as a family of 4.  We all have spiffy new outfits to wear.  And I'm going to make sure there are lots of pictures taken.

As for now, I'm finally getting some energy back and it feels good.  Cleaning has resumed at about 50%, and I feel less stressed about it all.

My garden has exploded with tomatoes and so I'm off to make my first-ever batch of homemade salsa.

Taco pizza anyone?

I think....no wait, I KNOW.

I'm ready for this to be my last pregnancy.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not miserable.  I don't hate it.  I'm just ready to feel like myself again.

It's like I got a sneak preview of my life with multiple kids when Dean was born.  But I was so damn emotional that I didn't appreciate it like I should have.  I guess it was my lesson in life.

I also was only NOT pregnant for 9 months.  (We got a positive when Dean was 10 months.)  I didn't even put my maternity clothes away.  Bottles are just staying in the cabinet for #3 to come around and use them in SIX MONTHS.  <---whah?  no way.

I was telling David last night I just want to wake up and have some energy.  I want to wake up and drink my coffeeeeee.  Oh, I miss my coffee.  I want my house to be clean.  I want to go grocery shopping.  Like, big time grocery shopping.  I know it may sound weird, but I love when my cart is full of healthy snacks for the kids, organic fruits & veggies, and ingredients for a new recipe I'm going to cook that night.  I love cooking a meal that I know is David's favorite.  I love when Emma says she is "hungee" for a snack, and I have one for her.  It sounds simple, I know.  But lately it's been more of a stress to find any food in this house, and the LAST thing I want to go do is grocery shop for food that won't sound good to me.  This baby is a picky one.  The pickiest yet actually.  I usually find something I want at the store, bring it home, and let it go bad in the fridge because I (baby) decided we didn't want it.  I bet we have eaten out more times in the last 3 months than the last year combined.  It's not great for our finances either.

I want to go running and feel sweat down my back.  I want to breathe hard and lift some heavy weights.  I want to feel stronger and healthier.  I want to put on my running clothes and just go, jam to music, and de-stress by myself for a short while.

I know this list is filled with wants, wants, and more wants.  But it's my blog and I can want if I want to.  (See what I did there?)

I am making a conscious effort to really ENJOY this pregnancy.  I am becoming more aware that this will be my last and I am at peace with it.  I am ready to move past the baby stage of life and get this toddler-show on the road.  :)

It's what I got.

Hello?

Is any one still there?

I fear I may have lost you.  I've been gone a while.  But for good reason.

I've been really tired.

And hungry.

And nauseous.

And pregnant.

Yep.  I'll give you a second to take that in.

Baby #3 is on the way.

And it is wiping me out.

Being pregnant the first time with Emma, I had all the same symptoms, but no other babies to take care of.  Therefore, I could take a nap when I wanted, eat when I wanted, and ignoring the laundry only affected me.

When I was pregnant with Dean, I was living with my in-laws.  I didn't have to take care of the entire house, did much less grocery shopping, and had tons of help.

But now.  Oh, now.  I have my own house I'm responsible for which is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain because of my "I'd rather be napping" attitude.  I do the grocery shopping with 2 muchkins in tow, which on average, take about 1 hour more than it should.  And finding something to keep them busy is easy in the summer, but it wears me out pretty quickly.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret complaining about the hard summer I've had when I'm trapped inside the house this winter with two rowdy kids and a newborn.

Here's the deets:

Due Date: January 11th, 2012

How far along: 13 weeks today

Weight Gain: As of last appt (6/22), I had lost 1/2 a pound. (thank you morning sickness)

Maternity Clothes: Yes.  Everything yes.

Feeling baby:  Yes!  I have felt a definite kick two days in a row.  :)

Food Cravings:  Not so much cravings as aversions.  No garlic.  Ever.  Eck.

Gender:  We won't know until the baby is born!  Surprise!

What I miss:  Drinking in the summertime.  (Didn't I say that last year?)

What I love:  Baby kicks.  They never get old.

Looking forward to:  Finding out what the gender is.

Milestone:  Getting over the morning/noon/night sickness.  Thank goodness.

I certainly did not expect to be pregnant so soon, but what a blessing. 

And, now since I don't feel like yakking on my keyboard anymore, I should be updating more often.

Thanks for listening.

you never know.

Today we cleaned out the playroom.

We have a small room upstairs.  It's hidden away.  It holds a massive amount of toys, my old play kitchen, and the easel my brother made for her.

This room holds every toy she's ever received.  True story.  I have never thrown one thing away because, well, we have the room for it, right?  Plus, I throw toys in there and never think about them again.  They are very much out of sight, out of mind.  So, after many weeks of telling her I would go up and clean her playroom, I finally did it.  While I was cleaning, she "cooked" me a meal of toast and peanut-butter-and-jelly-and-carrot-juice in her tiny play blender.  Then when I pretended to eat all of it, she told me I didn't finish.  Then when I finally finished to her satisfaction, she asked if she could make me more.  "Of course, Emma Kay, you can make me more."

She used a pizza cutter to peel the carrot before she put it in the blender.  She kept telling me she was "almost dun peewing the cowwot for the juice."  I like when I catch little moments like that.  Where I see her doing something the same way I do, where I realize that she is learning from me, even when I'm not teaching.  It fills me with a sense of pride. 

I must be doing something right.

The playroom was clean for about 5 minutes.  Deaners tore some stuff down already, and I'm pretty sure he ate something he wasn't supposed to.  Emma kept saying "Mama, look at this!"  "Mama, look what I found!"  After picking up the first layer of princess clothes and wands, we found some stuff we all forgot we had.  It was a big task and I'm glad it's over.

Now to take a nap.

Yeh, right.

up high. to the sky.

Raise your hand if you feel like all the time in the world has gone away, and us moms are left to pick up the pieces/clothes/diapers/trash/dishes/toys/socks/bibs/shoes/pacifiers/sippycups/dogpee/hairties.

And we need to do it as fast as we can. 

Because before we know it, it's 9:47 pm and the laundry you folded is still on your bed.  But you can't put it away because the kids are finally asleep and the last thing you are going to do is wake them up to put away some stupid folded jammas.  So then maybe they go back in the laundry basket.  And maybe they just sit there for 2 days while you go to work, pick the kids up, make dinner, give baths, read stories, clean up dinner, brush teeth, and put two little munchkins to bed.  Then, maybe the kids really need some clean underwear/socks/jammas and the only place they are is in that damn laundry basket.  And when you're digging through the clean, once-folded-but-now-wrinkly clothes to find your daughter her princess undies, maybe you curse.  Just a little.  Because you're so sick and tired of having something almost done, but just not finished.  And you're tired of digging through that basket for clean clothes because they really should just be in the kids' dressers by now.  But then you think back on how much time in the last 3 days you've had to put said clothes away, and you realize that the only time you really had was when you were sleeping.  Eh, priorities, schmriorities.

If you haven't noticed, I've been m.i.a.  To be more accurate, I've been at work.  I picked up muchos hours in April and am feeling the effects.  More money, yes please.  Less time to do what I need at home, no thank you.  It's definitely a juggling act, and it's a hard one.  I'm pretty sure I've got more than 3 things in the air any given minute.

On a brighter note, the hubs & I just celebrated FIVE YEARS married.  Isn't that insane?  I can't really say that I feel like we got married yesterday.  I mean, we've been through 2 houses & 2 kids in that time.  I'm pretty sure it's felt like 5 years.  But in a good way.  :)  I've got myself a good guy.  We celebrated by going to dinner sans kids & stuffing our faces until we couldn't move.  It was awesome.

So for now, that's what I got.  Totally worth the wait right?   Right?

Now to go find some extra time.  Any ideas?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I used to think about this question all the time when I was younger.  Except it wasn't so much about what I was going to be, but how I would handle the position.

"If I'm a teacher, I'm going to be relaxed.  I'll let kids sleep.  I'll be that cool teacher that all the kids like." or "If I'm a teacher, I'm going to be strict but for good reason.  I'll never let kids sleep.  They'll have to answer to me.  Nobody will like me but the parents because their kids will get good grades."  Basically, it was a mix of the teachers I liked for different reasons.

Turns out, I think of motherhood the same way.

"I want to be that mom that all my kids' friends love.  They want to come over to our house for the cookies I make or the yard we have to run around in.  Emma & Dean are content with the fact that I get along with their friends.  And hopefully they will trust themselves more to let me in on their plans and resist the urge to hide secrets or lie to me."

But, I don't think I get to make the call on this one.  It just happens.  I'm learning that I'm just going to be the type of mom my kids need that day.

Most days, I'm more strict than I thought I'd be.  I try hard to not make "empty threats".  If I say "Don't climb on that or I'll take away your cartoons.",  I mean it.  If you climb on that, I'll take away your cartoons.  The last thing I want my little ones to learn is that I don't really mean anything I say - threat or not.

Some days, I'm full of fun ideas, crafts, foods, and energy.  On these days, there are no tears and no fits.  We are relaxed.  We have fun.  We create together.  We laugh & shop & play.

I'm discovering things about who I am.  Being a mother has brought a change to the way I approach life.  I find less of a need to impress others (why did I ever care in the first place?), and more of a desire to create the most comfortable HOME I can for my family.

And for now, we're doing well.

Let's see what today brings.