Bubs is FIVE months old. Five. F. I. V. E. Did you get that?
He is five months, and I feel like I am just now getting the hang of having two kids. That's not to say I have it ALL under control all of the time. But recently I feel like I have maybe found a groove. Baby D is napping at around the same times each day. Emma is still taking her once-a-day naps - thank goodness. [I dread the day she decides she's too old for naps.] Cleaning/upkeep is becoming easier to manage. And my relationship with husband is on it's way up.
To expand a little, I was on an emotional roller coaster for a long time after having Dean. Looking back, my posts oozed despair, stress, and a little bit of depression. It was nice to have this blog as an outlet for my feelings. It also helped me realize that I was probably more stressed out than I thought. I wouldn't say it was postpartum depression/anxiety, but I was probably close to it. I even googled the symptoms because I felt so different. One day, I just realized that I hadn't really felt like myself, like the "lauren" that I am, in a long time. There were many factors that contributed to this feeling, and I just had to sit down and evaluate each one.
1. Extremes. I went from having one child to having two. I went from having no house to a fixer-upper in one night. Please note that "one night" was the day we brought Baby D home from the hospital. [what were we thinking?] It just took me a while to realize that we were crazy for what we did, but we are pretty balanced now.
2. Sleep. Baby D is a much different baby than Emma ever was. She slept through the night very early on, and we were better rested. D is 5 months old, and I woke up with him at least 4 times just last night. Not getting enough sleep is obviously a factor here.
3. The "Super Mom" syndrome. Nope. You can NOT do it all. At least I can't. I tried. I tried real hard. I felt like I had to, like I was supposed to be able to do it all. But, after about 5 months, I figured out that I simply can't. I just have to do what I can, the best I can. When I feel like I can take something else on, then I will. But not before I'm ready. I learned that lesson the hard way. Thank goodness I have a husband with the most patience ever. Seriously, ever.
It took me a long while to figure this out, and I don't believe I'm done at all. But at least I've got a handle on what I need to do. Slow down. Breathe. Evaluate. Start again. Only do what needs to be done. Get good at that. Then consider adding more.
Let's see how the next 5 months play out shall we?