Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Emotional v. Physical

Having a baby is a stressful event.

Of course, this is my third baby and I'm sure I know what to do by now.   Right?

With Emma, I was physically ready to have a baby.  We registered and had the showers.  We had every baby item we thought we needed.  We had a huge house so there was no question where she would sleep.  We both worked full-time so money was not a concern.  I would say we were more ready physically than we were emotionally.  Emma was a surprise baby (you think I'd have learned by now), and so it took some time to get ready for her arrival in an emotional sense.  I remember it didn't even really HIT me until the day we took her home.  I cried for the first hour we had her home because I realized that this sweet little baby girl was ours, and she was here to stay.

As far as Dean goes, he was planned.  I was ready for another baby.  But I was also ready to sell my house.  So we moved out of our house when I was about 5 weeks pregnant and feeling sick as a dog.  We moved in with my in-laws and stayed there until Dean was born.  The main reason we found out his gender was so I could feel prepared for something, anything.  I didn't know where I was going to live.  I didn't know how money would be since I was only going back part-time.  I didn't know if he would have his own room.  I just wanted to know.  So, I felt prepared for Dean emotionally because I was so ready to be a mom again.  I wanted a newborn.  I was ready for sleepless nights. (Although, had I known he would be the kind of sleeper he is, I might have changed my mind.)  I was ready for bottles and newborn-sized onsies.

Or so I thought.

What I wasn't ready for was the full-on-mom-mode I would have to be in 100% of the time.  Even though I thought I was ready for this second kid, there was nothing out there that could have prepared me for the stress that is two kids.  But, that's gotten better.  I was just getting the hang of it when along came the positive pregnancy test and all my energy went down the drain.

I am ready for this baby.  Emotionally, that is.  I feel like I've learned so much about myself in the last 16 months that Dean has been here.  I am absolutely prepared for the world of mutliple children.  I understand it will be insane and I can't do everything.  I am fairly educated on breastfeeding and have a strong desire to do whatever it takes to make it work.  I already know what the money will be like, and it will be hard.  But, given the choice to make more money away from home, or stay home with my babies while I can -well, the choice for me is easy.  I know what the hospital stay will be like.  I understand this baby will probably be jaundiced like my other two.  I am prepared for the multiple trips to the hospital for bloodwork.  I am emotionally ready to connect to this little baby - my last - my true baby.

As far as being physically ready goes....

...well, do you have a room we could borrow?

No comments:

Post a Comment