Wednesday, November 10, 2010


I constantly evalutate myself.  My style.  My thoughts.  My habits.  I do all of this thinking & evaluating to make myself a better person, wife, mother.  Lately though, I've been wondering if it is making me better -or- worse.

I'm pretty sure I'm trying to be superwoman without knowing I'm trying to be superwoman.  Get it?

I mean, whenever I do anything, I think about how I'm doing it and if I could do it faster, cleaner, better, or more often.  Even if I am sitting down for a couple of minutes, I am thinking about what else I could be doing besides resting.  Then I get completely stressed out for the millionth time that day.

I never really felt this kind of pressure after I had Emma, but that's because I had much lower expectations for myself & my home.  Plus, I worked full-time, so I saw/cleaned/made the mess much left often than now.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am in a constant state of review about what I do everyday, and it's starting to really stress me out.   But I can't stop.  I can't just let the mess be.  Do other moms & dads think this way?  Do they have trouble resting because there is so much more they could be doing? 

I can tell you one thing, I'm pretty sure my mom was superwoman.  She kept an immaculate house without letting her stress about it show.  She created a clean, but stress-free home.  That's what I want.  But I'm having trouble getting there.

Will I ever feel a sense of calm?  Will I ever stop being overwhelmed?

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