Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lauren. She was 36 weeks pregnant, and really feeling it. One day, she went to the doctor for a check-up. He said "Lauren, you are 2 centimeters dialated, and 70% effaced." Lauren and her husband, David, got very excited at this news. They realized they were going to have a baby soon!
Two days earlier, Lauren had noticed some "leaking" happening. It wasn't much, and she wasn't in pain, so she did not think too much of it. However, her husband wanted her to call the doctor to make sure it wasn't her water breaking. On her way to work one Tuesday morning, Lauren called the doctor. He said "Go to the hospital. We will hook you up to the monitors, and see how far along you are." She grabbed her hospital bag (already nicely packed) and David drove her to the hospital.
They were greeted and sent to Suite 7. After putting on the hospital gown (lovely, by the way), Lauren sat in the bed as the nurse hooked up all the equipment and asked all the questions. "How long have you been leaking?" the nurse says. Lauren replied "About 2 days." The nurse then said "You should have called us sooner. You definitely should have told Dr. S about this before now."
Lauren realized that even though these nurses were nice, they were very serious about this "leaking" business. The nurse then did a PH test to see if Lauren's water broke. The test came back yellow, confirming that her water did NOT break. The nurse was perplexed. "What could this liquid be?" she asked. She then went to page Dr. S.
All the time, Lauren was having contractions. They were very irregular in strength and timing.
After 20 minutes of waiting, Dr. S came in to review the situation. He asked all the same questions, and measured Lauren again. She was still 2 centimeters dialated, and 70% effaced. No change. He told Lauren to go home, relax, and call if she had any concerns.
Lauren then changed her clothes, packed her hospital bag back up, and her husband drove her home.
But not really.
This has been a presentation of "The Girl Who Cried Labor".